Not present enough… 

Not patient enough… 

Not making enough healthy food… 

Not spending enough time teaching them stuff...

And then you feel guilty about it? 

I’ve been there. I’ve missed out on quality time with my daughter. I’ve missed out on her growing-up memories. I've missed out on teaching moments. 

It’s not that I wanted to. 

I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to be patient… 

But sometimes… I honestly wasn't able to BE THERE mentally or emotionally. 

So I looked at why and realized something…

I wasn’t even there for myself, and I couldn’t give what I didn’t have.

After all there is a reason Jesus said: LOVE your neighbor AS YOURSELF, in Matthew 22:39

I mean for a long time, I was there for my job, my friends, and my responsibilities, but not TRULY THERE FOR ME. Sure I DID get dressed, I was a high performer so I actually showed up, and got things done. 

It SEEMED like I had it all put together. At work I “felt productive,” but I rarely genuinely pampered myself, like ACTUALLY made myself present for me, gave myself ample time to self-reflect or splurged on a massage etc. and my body and brain resented it, so subconsciously it wasn’t able to give that to another part of me… my daughter. 

I mean let’s face it, kids make us really look at ourselves, so I often found it was easier for me to work – something I excel at – than to use my energy being present with BOTH myself and her, because I didn’t feel like an ADEQUATE Mom, but I sure was an OVERACHIEVER at work. Looking back I realize it was easier to delegate my mom-moments than to delegate work tasks.

When I finally realized that I’m already enough, I’m already the perfect mom for her, I started to let go of the tight grip excess work had on me and our lives. 

And suddenly… 

I had more time in my life because I wasn’t making more work for myself to avoid, ignore, suppress and shove down all my feelings of inadequacy.

I know how it feels to compare yourself to others - to think you’re not a “good” parent because you’re not INSIDE the pool playing with your kid like the other moms splashing and laughing with their kids, while you barely had enough desire to get there and sit BY the pool and read.

But you actually are more than you give yourself credit for, you are ENOUGH, you are ABLE, you are CAPABLE. When clients first start working with me, a lot of them worry about what they can’t do, because of their feelings of inadequacy. I remind them that not wanting or feeling like doing something doesn’t mean they can’t or that they are less than enough. 

When they say YES to working with me the barriers of inadequacy immediately begin to shift, not because of me, but because of who God shows them they already are.

The minute they are willing to invest in being present with themselves, they give themselves permission and their family the opportunity to experience their incredible, amazing self that THEY ALREADY and in return they and their family get to ENJOY and delight with ALL the goodness in them, even the beautiful parts covered up under layers of unprocessed emotions.

So in case you don’t hear this enough (pun intended ;), I hope you hear it loud and clear today… 

You are MORE than enough TODAY, you ALREADY HAVE everything you need and if you are willing to look within for even more of your awesomeness, you don’t have to do it alone.

You CAN ENJOY YOUR FAMILY and HAVE THE TIME and ENERGY to thrive in all areas, even while embracing rest and allowing yourself to feel and learn a deeper level of self-love, for yourself and others.

Here are a few small but powerful ideas you can try this week to be more present with yourself and your child… 

• Pause right now and take ONE BIG DEEP breath, repeat as needed.

• Give yourself a daily Hug, like actually wrap your arms around yourself, and squeeze.

• If actually engaging with your child feels like too much some days, instead of forcing yourself, Just sit with them in silence staring at them lovingly. (Just make sure to let them know, you can tell them you love them and that you just want to sit with them while they watch a movie or do an activity, you may choose to hug them or just smile at them and nod in approval of their presence.)

• Color together.

• Read to them something you were planning on reading anyway, ask them if they want to be held while you read. (Honestly, I have even read emails to my daughter, she’s fine as long as she gets to be next to me, present, and feels like she is part of my day.)

Try it out and let me know how you feel!

Much love,

Coach Ana ❤️

Ecclesiastes 3:7-8

A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.

If you are wondering whether or not you are ready to actually have more time to enjoy yourself and your family, and want to learn more about what this can look like, schedule a NO OBLIGATION complimentary consultation today: https://www.gaetatraining.com/quickconsult

I want you to know that I really do get it, we’re not always sure if we are ready to actually take ownership and have the things we say we want, like more time and freedom from work, so there is ZERO judgment here, just love.

I will be very genuine and open about whether working together NOW is the best next step for you or what might be a better NOW step for your specific goals and direction.